Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
