No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
