can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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