they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
