so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
operation have a gay friend backfired
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
