he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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