It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
