I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
