Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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