Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
