Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
