He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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