she was so not down for the gang bang
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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