Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
