This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
