I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
