I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
