i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
