She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
