I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
