i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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