I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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