I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
