We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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