just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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