You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
