North Korea, Best Korea!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
