Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I looked at my own cervix.
if only i could text you this smell
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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