I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
