Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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