I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
