I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
