I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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