You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My ass is underappreciated
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
