okay pat passed out under dana's car
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
