very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
