Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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