I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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