so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
