We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
