she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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