His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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