Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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