conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
