So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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