He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
