We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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