He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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