I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
