Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
