She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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