Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I need to sanitize my soul.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
