it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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