If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm always down for nudity.
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